Month: January 2017

The State of Basketball in Seattle

Thanks to Graham for this question on Whale.

First, we have to start with Nathan Hale High School which has the number one boys basketball team in the nation. Last year they were 3-18, but that was before former NBA start Brandon Roy joined as the team’s head coach and they received seven out-of-district transfers including Michael Porter Jr., the nation’s No. 1-ranked recruit in the 2017 class. Michael has signed a letter of intent to play for the University of Washington next year. His brother Jontay also plays for the team and is currently ranked as the 26th best player in the 2018 class.

Seattle’s Garfield High School is ranked 79th in the nation. Not bad considering the US has 37,000 public and private high schools.

The University of Washington men aren’t doing well as a team and have just a 9-11 record. They do, however, have Markelle Fultz who is a potential number one pick in next year’s NBA Draft. And there are currently eight former UW players in the NBA.

The UW women, however, are currently 19-2 and ranked 7th in the nation. Kelsey Plum is the all-time Pac-12 scoring leader. As I write this she’s just 323 points shy of being the NCAA all-time women’s leader in points scored.

There is also the Seattle Pro Am, which last year featured a number of current NBA Players.

And who can forget that the outdoor court at Greenlake, popular for pick-up games during the summer (when it’s not raining) was once featured in NBA Street Vol. 2. Greenlake is occasional host to amateur slam dunk contests, including one hosted by Shawn Kemp.

Which reminds me, in Seattle we never talk about the Sonics.

Dating Experiences From 50 First Dates

Dating Stories

Thanks to Jenn Choi for asking my first question on Whale. Jenn asked about my funniest online dating story. Though I’ve been on 50 first dates or so, the number of dates that have a story worth telling are pretty small. Most of the dates have been pretty standard, although I’ve often wanted a date to throw up on me so I can have the killer dating story.

There was the time a date asked me if I was autistic. The worst part was that she was a special education teacher that worked daily with autistic high school students. In truth I wasn’t so offended and we’re still friends.

Once I went on a first date to an independent film festival that took place in people’s living rooms. The films were pretty funny. It was when I first started dating so I was somewhat awkward and for some reason didn’t my date to get a drink afterword. Because we were silently watching films the whole date we didn’t get to know one another and she had no reason to accept my second date invitation. Rookie mistake.

I’ve gone on a first date twice with the same person, though she didn’t remember our first date.

I’ve had my share of awkward dates where we sit on opposite sides of the table, sipping on our old fashioneds and staring awkwardly past one another.

Previously, I’ve written about a number of strange date cancellations I’ve received.

Perhaps the most interesting date experience I’ve had — and the one I discussed on Whale — is the time I went on a three-way date with a woman, let’s call her Bridget, and her boyfriend. This occurred because I had gotten myself somewhat involved with Bridget and she was in an open relationship. This was completely for the experience you must understand.

By this time Bridget and I had gone on probably three dates and she had sent me a questionnaire by email that required me to fill in my relationship and sexual history as well as my sexual preferences. However, before we became intimate she wanted me to meet her boyfriend. The three of us went to Thai food and then to bubble tea. Yes, it was awkward. Not the most awkward date I’ve been on though. We didn’t talk about the fact that I might one day soon become intimate with Bridget. I found it most awkward that they each paid for their own meal. Even with friends we often take turns paying I consider this ritual a display of friendship and intimacy. I can’t imagine splitting the bill with someone I’m dating.

Bridget and I dated for only another week or two and then, not wanting to actually be in an open relationship for the long run, I ended things and pursued another woman I had recently met. Like a handful of dates, Bridget and I are still friends.

Dating Tips

Here are a few tips and tricks I’ve learned from going on 50 first dates.

People Only Look as Good as Their Worst Photo
Maybe this is shallow, but people always ask. Perhaps this photo fact isn’t so surprising, people often put their best foot forward so almost by definition their photos are as good as they’re going to look. But listen we all look the way we look and shouldn’t be ashamed of it. And as we all know tastes in physical appearance vary widely. I think people should be confident enough in themselves to show what they really look like rather than trying to hide it. I’m 6’6″and in high school weighed a mere 150 pounds so you can imagine the teasing I was subjected to (even my basketball coach called me “sticks”). This self-consciousness has stuck with me a bit, but there I am in dating photos, chicken legs and all.

Occasionally someone comes out of left field and ends up looking much better than any of their photos. About 1 in 20 times someone will look so different from their photos that I wouldn’t know it was the same person.

Pay for the First Date (If You’re a Guy)
There is a common line of reasoning that says that whoever asked the other person out should pay for the date. Or that on a first date you should split the bill. It’s not 1950, but listen bro, just pay for the date. I’ve never not paid and I’ve never had a woman complain. I’ve had lots of female friends have guys not pay and they always complain.

I think most women appreciate this and chivalry isn’t dead. I keep this practice up until date three or four when eventually the woman begins insisting she will pay at which point I give in (after a while it become douchey to not let a woman pick up the check if she asks).

Create a Standard Date
If you’re going on a lot of first dates and are time constrained you really need to Mark-Zuckerberg-wearing-a-white-t-shirt-everyday your dates and just come up with something standard to do with everyone. Thoughtfulness is important, but on the first date you have no idea how you’ll get along so there is no sense in trying to come up with something creative. And trust me date planning can take a lot of you. Plus a large volume of creative first dates will leave you no first-time activities to share with your significant other once you do get serious.

I would also recommend making the date someone inexpensive as a matter of practicality. Going on 1-2 dates a week and spending $50+ each time can hit your wallet and feels even worse if the date is a dud.

Always do an activity if possible. Sitting across from one another eating dinner or finishing your drinks becomes very awkward if there is no chemistry and conversation subsides. An activity gets the blood flowing, loosens things up, and provides context for conversation. If you do get a drink try to sit at the bar side by side unless you are a skilled conversationalist. Make sure you are no positioned in front of a bar mirror. Even better, sit near a window where people watching can spark conversation and fill the silence.

I have two go-to dates. In the summer I buy my date froyo and we walk Greenlake in north Seattle. It’s beautiful and one of my favorite places to go anyway. In winter we play indoor bocce ball. I ask my date first of course and if they object I come up with an alternative.

These dates also offer an easy exit if things aren’t going well or the option for more fun if they are. Finishing a loop of Greenlake, for example, offers a natural break to part ways or a chance to walk across the street and grab food or coffee.

Second dates moving forward I try to do something fun and a little original.

Chemistry on an App Doesn’t Equal Chemistry in Real Life
It was somewhat surprising to me when I first discovered this, but it has held true. Often a date and I will banter back and forth over text, but when we meet in person the chemistry quickly fades. Other times the chemistry remains. Still other times answers over text are terse and I wonder if we should actually go through with the date, only to discover that in person we hit it off. Don’t rely too heavily on texting chemistry as measure of what the date will be like.

Links

1. On epistocracy

An interesting idea many will despise:

Epistocracy comes in many forms. An epistocracy might give everyone one vote, then grant extra votes to citizens who pass a test of basic political knowledge (such as the citizenship exam). Or it might grant the right to vote only to citizens who pass such a test.  Or it might instead hold an “enfranchisement lottery”: Immediately before an election, choose 10,000 citizens at random, and then those citizens, and only those, are permitted to vote, but only if they first complete a competence-building exercise.

Trump would have likely fared better under an epistocracy.

2. Apparently cows like to milk themselves

3. The Sinbad genie movie (very interesting)

4. Reddit has a meme economy

5. What’s the most mysterious photo ever taken?

6. Soviet era minced meat commercial is strange in many ways

Why time management is ruining our lives

That is the title of a profound article from The Guardian. There are many points of interest.

One of the sneakier pitfalls of an efficiency-based attitude to time is that we start to feel pressured to use our leisure time “productively”, too – an attitude which implies that enjoying leisure for its own sake, which you might have assumed was the whole point of leisure, is somehow not quite enough. And so we find ourselves, for example, travelling to unfamiliar places not for the sheer experience of travel, but in order to add to our mental storehouse of experiences, or to our Instagram feeds. We go walking or running to improve our health, not for the pleasure of movement; we approach the tasks of parenthood with a fixation on the successful future adults we hope to create.

The article concludes that productivity is just a way to avoid asking and answering hard questions about how you’re living and a way to artificially feel immortal in a existence that always ends in death. Do read the whole thing.

You can seek to impose order on your inbox all you like – but eventually you’ll need to confront the fact that the deluge of messages, and the urge you feel to get them all dealt with, aren’t really about technology. They’re manifestations of larger, more personal dilemmas. Which paths will you pursue, and which will you abandon? Which relationships will you prioritise, during your shockingly limited lifespan, and who will you resign yourself to disappointing? What matters?

Extreme Forward Thinking

Via The Seattle Times:

…an Amazon patent document published in April: flying warehouses held aloft by blimps.

It would float above a city at 45,000 feet of height, and hold not only thousands of items, but a fleet of drones.

Gravity would make the drones more energy efficient, as they wouldn’t have to power up until they’re close to the ground.

The drones could make their way back to the mothership in a shuttle, accompanied by packages and workers not afraid of heights. It could move to hover over other cities based on demand.

That futuristic vision is preceded by a discussion of Amazon’s Voltron-like drone patent.